Opening Activities

To make sure we’ll all up to speed, I thought we’d start off with a little refresher course on things you hopefully covered in previous classes: namely, thesis statements, topic sentences, organization, etc., then briefly talk about argumentative fallacies. This is stuff we’ll work on throughout the semester so please feel free to ask questions!

For the essay below, give it a once-over and try to identify the draft’s thesis, any problems with the draft’s focus and organization, ways it could be improved, etc. In other words, pretend you’re peer reviewing this paper. Also, look at the topic sentences and see if they work or not.

Sample Essay

For my Researched Family Narrative I have chosen to write about my family. My family has a lot to do with who I am as a human being and a future member of the American work force. Family is important because they help define who you are. Good or bad. That’s certainly true in my case! To help with this paper I interviewed two members of my family and also did some research on alcoholism and how it can affect a family, also I did some research on my major field of study. This helped understand certain things about myself and my family that I will talk about in this paper.

Looking back, I think my father had a lot of anxiety or depression and probably should have gotten medication or counseling but that wasn’t really done back then. His father, my grandpa, is the same way. I remember he drank a lot and would speak abusively to others. Both he and my dad drink too much which had a really bad affect on the rest of the family.

However, I don’t want to give the impression that they’re both bad men. My dad is really generous, for example. He is a great carpenter and like my grandpa, he has a deep respect for nature. I believe this has led me to the career path I am on now, hoping to be an architect, so I can use my imagination and attention to detail to improve the world around me. According to MyMajors.com, “Architects have a key role in the shaping of our environment” (par. 1). My degree will allow me to help others, which is very important to me, since I want to have a positive impact and not a negative one.

Focusing mainly on my dad, I think some of the negative impacts his problems have had on me is that I feel a lot more anxious and less confident than my peers. This is no surprise because the children of alcoholic parents often “…have common symptoms such as low self-esteem, loneliness, guilt, feelings of helplessness, fears of abandonment, and chronic depression (Berger, pg. 216).

Most people don’t like to talk about their problems, or things they don’t like and can’t change, and my family is the same way—a trait I don’t like. I tried to interview several members of my family, as I said. My sister refused so I tried asking my mom some questions about what it’s like to be married to someone like my dad, she got really uncomfortable. “You can’t stop other people from making mistakes. You just have to choose whether or not you are going to support them” (Doe, Jane). I disagree with this, at least the second part. It’s true that we can’t necessarily stop others from making mistakes but part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your own actions and not putting up with it when they refuse to do so. That’s another important lesson I’ve learned from my family.

When I think of the kind of parent I want to be, should I have a family of my own down the road, I want to be observant and receptive of how they’re doing and also support their career choice. I want to be responsible, admit it when I make mistakes, and do what I can to improve myself. Being an architect and a good parent are ways I can accomplish this.

What a Good Thesis Statement Should Do:

1)     Argue for the writer’s position on an issue, whether it’s personal, political, cultural, etc.

2)     Be as clear and specific as possible.

3)     Take some degree of risk.

What a Thesis Statement SHOULD NOT Do:

1)     Simply restate a fact or opinion that is commonly held by just about everyone (no risk).

2)     Begin with (or contain) the phrase, “In this paper, I am going to talk about…” or anything like that.  The reason to avoid this is because it’s too general and overused and sounds lazy.

Examples of Bad Thesis Statements:

1)   I believe my parents were right when they said that hard work is more important than ability.

2)   My siblings helped shape who I am.

3)   Losing a parent is a very tough thing for a child to go through.

Examples of Good Thesis Statements:

1)     My parents’ encouragement and positive attitude helped shape my belief that hard work is more important than raw ability. This helped me be a better student and athlete, even when competing against others who may have had greater ability but a less disciplined work ethic.  This also taught me to learn from my failures.

2)     My siblings helped shape who I am by supporting me throughout some very difficult times, often serving as surrogate parents.  This helped me develop a stronger sense of compassion and loyalty.  However, we also endured frequent, heated disagreements.  These actually served as a benefit as well by helping me develop greater patience and understanding.  

3)     Losing my mother at an early age was devastating, but it also taught me the necessity of appreciating those around me and keeping the troubles of daily life in perspective.

Even though we almost always have to go back and refine our thesis statements once we’ve written the rest of the paper, having a really specific thesis statement can give you a solid, helpful framework for the rest of the paper.  Take the first revised thesis as an example.  If you package it in an introduction, then end the paragraph with your thesis (underlined below), you can then use the thesis to come up with the TOPIC SENTENCES for several body paragraphs.

Introduction:

Whether it was my mother telling jokes to help ease the tension as she helped me study for a pre-calculus test, or my father helping me practice free-throws underneath the rusty basketball rim he nailed to our garage, I consider myself lucky to grow up in a household with two supportive parents who encouraged me to do my best in everything.  My parents’ encouragement and positive attitude helped shape my belief that hard work is more important than raw ability. This helped me be a better student and athlete, even when competing against others who may have had greater ability but a less disciplined work ethic.  This also taught me to learn from my failures.

Body Paragraph 1:

In high school, I remember being pretty embarrassed because of my struggles with math, especially when I took Pre-Calculus.  For one thing, my mother majored in business and can do complex arithmetic in her head.  For another, two of my best friends were the same way and hardly needed to study at all.  I was genuinely worried about failing.  [The paragraph can go on to describe how the writer’s mother helped him study, how he ended up doing well despite math not being a strong subject for him, etc.]

Body Paragraph 2:

Although I was far from the best basketball player at school, my parents’ encouragement also helped me to succeed in that area, as well.  [The paper could go on to describe another scene, then end with a transition, maybe something like “But sometimes, hard work isn’t enough.  In situations like that, my parents taught me that how one deals with failure is very important.”]

Body Paragraph 3:

I was devastated when, despite all my hard work, I failed my first and second Calculus exams and decided to drop the class.  [The author could go on to describe the scene a little bit more, maybe relate some advice given by his/her parents, incorporate a quote, etc.]

Body Paragraph 4:

[In this paragraph, maybe the author could describe losing a basketball game, how he/she dealt with that loss, any lessons it taught, etc.  Or maybe he/she could describe another incident of learning from a failure, incorporate a quote from a psychological study on the value of competition and/or failure, or ruminate on a famous quote like this one from Friedrich Nietzsche: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”]

Conclusion:

[In this paragraph, the author can catch us up to speed, RESTATE THE THESIS, and talk about how those lessons continue to influence his/her life today.  Note: be very careful about incorporating brand new information in the conclusion since major points should probably be mentioned earlier.]

Gauging a Rhetorical Situation

To understand the rhetorical situation you find yourself in, basically just consider these four elements: topic, purpose, audience, and author. That they’re all related is pretty obvious; remembering that they’re also separate, though, is a great way to make sure we’ve covered all the elements we need to cover in our writing.

In other words, when you’re doing a research project, consider your purpose. Is the project’s goal just to gain and then regurgitate information in an essay, or to use your research to back up your actual opinions on that topic and maybe even change your audience’s minds?

If your goal is to really affect your audience, it helps to know (or be able to make an educated guess) as to how your audience actually feels about that topic. That means trying to get in your audience’s head by anticipate their bias, background, or general opinions or concerns they may have, etc., then selecting your approach and word choice accordingly.

Three Basic Types of Audiences

1) Those who agree with you (shared ethos)

a. You don’t have to worry as much about coming across as offensive, or laying out your case, since you’re already “preaching to the choir”.

b. Don’t have to use as much logos (logical appeal) since they already agree with you; can use more pathos (appeals to emotions).

2) Those who disagree with you (opposing ethos)

a. VERY easy to come across as offensive if you’re not careful with your word choice.

b. If you come across as hostile, you have no chance of reaching any kind of compromise.

c. Should rely less on pathos, more on logos. Try to find a common ethical ground.

3) Those who are undecided

a. Can utilize appeals based on ethos, pathos, and logos.

b. You don’t have to be quite as careful as when you’re addressing an audience that disagrees, but you still have to be careful if you want to persuade them.

Example:

A student (we’ll call him Biff) chooses tattoos as his research project because he has a lot of them, doesn’t like the stigma associated with tattoos, and wants to change the average person’s minds. He also acknowledges that some people don’t put enough thought into their tattoos, so he wants to mention that in his paper, as well.

Topic: Tattoos

Purpose: Support his thesis that it’s discriminatory to judge someone based solely on their ink.

Personal Research: Biff can mention his personal experiences with his own tattoos, as well as anyone he’s known who was treated in a positive or negative light based solely on their appearance.

Audience: Biff assumes that his audience isn’t very familiar with tattoos so he provides a little background on them, acknowledges that some people make poor or impulsive decisions when it comes to tattoos, but also mentions how that can be true of anyone in any situation. Finally, by talking about the significance of his own tattoos (how they’re meaningful, the thought he put into them, etc), he’s able to connect more effectively with his audience.

Class activity:

1) Working in groups, choose a topic. You can come up with something related or stereotypes, or choose something entirely different, if you like.

2) Identify the purpose of the hypothetical research project.

3) Are you assuming your audience is undecided, that it already agrees with you and just needs to be bolstered, or that it disagrees with you?

4) Create a kind of psychological profile for your audience. What might be some of their biases or concerns, and how might you address them?

5) Where might you go and/or who might you talk to so that you can collect some additional research on this topic?

Another primary challenge in good writing is establishing your credibility. Once you’ve done that, you can break the rules in moderation, so long as you realize you’re breaking the rules, and you’re doing it for a reason. In every paper, realize that you can be creative, funny, even outrageous—but you have to demonstrate first that you know the formal rules, you know what you’re talking about, and the reader had better take you seriously.

Being able to address audiences who may disagree with you is a vital and important skill to develop.

Situation 1: Imagine you hold a Pro-Choice position and you’re writing to a mostly Pro-Life audience. Your goal is not to offend them, but to convince them to meet you halfway on a particular issue (say, a piece of legislation on birth control). What are some phrases/words you would not use in your argument? In other words, what would be the wrong way to characterize the Pro-Life position in this case?

Situation 2: Same question, but reverse it. Now imagine you have a Pro-Life stance and you’re trying to convince a Pro-Choice person or group. What would be the wrong way to characterize that group?

Logical Fallacies (aka Logical Mistakes)

In addition to showing respect for people of different viewpoints, it’s crucial that you avoid logical fallacies, or logical mistakes, in your arguments. In general, fallacies are arguments that often sound convincing, or at least very emotional, but actually don’t hold water. While different types of fallacies have different names (hasty generalization, either/or reasoning, bandwagon appeals, ad hominem, non sequitur, arguments from incredulity or ignorance, etc), it’s not really important to me that you remember the names. Instead, I just want you to get a feel for what is and isn’t a sound argument. For starters, read over the following statements and see if you can identify the problem in the person’s reasoning.

1) When our daughter got sick, we couldn’t afford to take her to the doctor. So we prayed for her to get well, and she did. Obviously, she was saved by prayer!

Rebuttal: What if she just had a cold? Just because B follows A, it doesn’t mean that A caused B.

2) My lazy neighbor is proof of how bad the welfare system is! He uses his food stamps to buy junk food and doesn’t take care of his kids. The whole program should be scrapped!

Rebuttal: People frequently try to draw conclusions based on just one or two bad examples—which doesn’t work. Also, the speaker in this case may not be aware that, on average, people on welfare have 1.7 jobs and 40% of them have two jobs!

3) Either you’re pro-choice on abortion or you don’t value the Constitution.

Rebuttal: Reducing complex situations to just two options is another tactic of a weak-minded rhetor. Can you imagine someone who is pro-life and values the Constitution? Of course!

4) Either you’re pro-life or you don’t think babies have the right to live.

Rebuttal: Again, can you imagine someone who is pro-choice and loves their children? Of course!

5) If you don’t agree with the ways the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have been conducted you must have forgotten all about 9/11!

Rebuttal: Especially when one side doesn’t want you to point out their flaws, they try to trick you into staying quiet but implying that you’re unpatriotic, that you don’t value children or freedom, etc. Again, just ask yourself if you can imagine an exception to the rule.

6) All those scientists must be lying about climate change or else they’d trade in their cars for a horse and cart!

Rebuttal: ad hominem attacks are very common. They occur when one weak-minded, usually desperate rhetor doesn’t know how to counter another’s argument, so they just make fun of him/her/them instead. In this case, even if a particular scientist were a hypocrite, that doesn’t refute all their research and evidence.

7) I don’t think smoking crack is really all that bad. After all, lots of people do it!

Rebuttal: A lot of people doing something—or a famous person’s endorsement—doesn’t necessarily mean something is a good idea.

8) Officer, why are you arresting me? My roommate drives drunker than this all the time and gets away with it!

Rebuttal: This is similar to the argument that I shouldn’t punish a certain student for plagiarism or being disruptive in class, because someone else did it worse. As the old saying goes, two wrongs don’t make a right.

9) You can’t prove that God doesn’t exist, so God must exist.

Rebuttal: At one point, it was impossible to prove that matter was made up of atoms or that black holes existed. Just because you can’t prove something doesn’t make it false.

10) You can’t prove that God exists, so God must not exist.

Rebuttal: Same thing.

11) I can’t imagine that you could have aced that test without cheating. Therefore, you must have cheated.

Rebuttal: This is called an argument from incredulity. Again, just because someone can’t imagine something doesn’t make it false.

Try to figure out what’s wrong with these last four statements on your own.

12) Justin Bieber has sold millions of records. I guess that means he’s a great singer!

13) I don’t understand how human beings could have possibly landed on the moon so the moon landing must have been faked.

14) You can't prove to me that fossils were put there by the Devil to trick us into believing in evolution. Therefore, it's possible that fossils were put there by the Devil.

15) The Nazis were creative. Therefore, creative people are more likely to be Nazis.

Now, get in groups of 3-4 people and come up with a few bad arguments of your own.

TESTING OUT WHAT WE'VE LEARNED...


PART 1

Let’s look at a hypothetical situation and see if we can cover some good, logical ground while avoiding fallacies.  Pretend you are composing a research project on the subject of the legal drinking age.  Your opinion is that the legal drinking age should be lowered to 18.  Your primary argument for this is that it’s an issue of freedom; since 18-year-olds are considered legal adults, they should have the freedom to choose whether or not they can consume alcohol.  You have also done a lot of research on European countries that have lower drinking ages and less alcohol-related deaths, and your assumption is that lowering the drinking age might actually lessen or eliminate the desire to drink out of rebellion or curiosity.  An additional benefit of lowering the drinking age would be greater sales of alcohol (which may boost the economy), and less money and time spent on arresting and prosecuting underage drinking. 

Now, assume your audience completely disagrees with you.  Here is their case:

1) Scientific research suggest that human brains continue to develop until one is twenty-one, therefore twenty-one year olds typically possess greater maturity.

2) The age of eighteen corresponds to most people moving away from home, so if we add the additional freedom of unsupervised drinking, alcohol-related deaths and injuries will increase.

3) Lowering the drinking age could cause a dramatic increase in alcohol-related deaths.  No politician wants to be viewed as responsible for passing a law that caused more deaths.

4) Comparisons of the United States to European countries is not valid because we have a difficult culture and might respond differently than they do.

5)  Assume the opposition also presents testimony from the families of teens who died from underage drinking.  They make an emotional appeal that the legal drinking age should not be lowered.

Now, your job is to try and come up with some kind of rebuttal.  In other words, poke some holes in their argument.

PART 2

Watch this video, an interview between CNN's Anderson Cooper and Congressman Louie Gohmert, on the subject of "terror babies."  Gohmert's belief is that terrorist women will try and give birth in the United States to make their babies American citizens, go home and raise them as terrorists, then send them back to perform terrorists acts.  See if you can identify flaws and fallacies in Gohmert's argument.  Also, pay attention to how Anderson Cooper refutes him.

Glossing

For anyone having trouble organizing their points, one of the best and easiest tricks you can use to tighten up your writing is a technique called glossing.  Basically, glossing is just reading through a paragraph and noting in the margins a few words or phrases that relate to everything in that paragraph.  Here’s an example:

While the American Civil War is commonly thought to be a conflict over the legality of slavery, there were other factors that contributed to the conflict, as well.  For example, the North and the South had substantially different economies and ways of life.  Also, both sides had vastly different interpretations of government philosophy as put forth by Thomas Jefferson, with the North emphasizing Jefferson’s opinions on abolition while the South emphasized his opinions on states’ rights apart from the government as a whole.  Especially in the matter of secession, Southerners believed they had the right to secede, while Northerners believed they did not.  These vast differences of opinion came to a head when Abraham Lincoln—a Northerner and an abolitionist—was elected president.

If you were to gloss the paragraph above, how could you sum up all the information that’s there?  You might simply write “Causes of the Civil War” off to the side, since every sentence related back to that in some way.  Now, imagine if we revised the paragraph above with a couple extra points (italicized), like this:

While the American Civil War is commonly thought to be a conflict over the legality of slavery, there were other factors that contributed to the conflict, as well.  For example, the North and the South had substantially different economies and ways of life.  Also, both sides had vastly different interpretations of government philosophy as put forth by Thomas Jefferson, with the North emphasizing Jefferson’s opinions on abolition while the South emphasized his opinions on states’ rights apart from the government as a whole.  Jefferson was himself a slave-owner, although he wrote often and eloquently about the immorality of slavery.  Many scholars point out the hypocrisy of this.  There are also indications that he had a long-standing affair with a slave named Sally Hemings, with whom he fathered several children.  Especially in the matter of secession, Southerners believed they had the right to secede, while Northerners believed they did not.  These vast differences of opinion came to a head when Abraham Lincoln—a Northerner and an abolitionist—was elected president.

               Notice how the extra sentences on Jefferson seem out of place?  While the information is interesting and might still be helpful to the essay, those sentences would be better off elsewhere—maybe in a paragraph about the hypocrisies of some Founding Fathers' attitudes on slavery.  When you gloss your own papers (or others’ papers during peer review), make a note if a sentence seems out of place.  This is a very quick, very easy way to improve your writing!

Exercise: Read through the following sample paragraph and note what seems awkward or out of place.  How would you fix it?  Note: You might find more than one problematic area.

Gun violence in high schools and colleges around the country is often blamed on a long list of factors.  Just some of these factors include: the ready availability of firearms, glamorous portrayals of violence in the media, the alleged apathy of the teenage generation, and the so-called decay of “traditional” family values.  I remember when I learned of a school shooting at the University of Iowa, where I received my undergraduate degree.  At first, I was worried that my favorite professors might have been injured or killed.  Afterwards, I blamed the school for not responding to the killer’s depression in time.  Of all the factors mentioned above, the media is most often blamed for gun violence.  The media includes news, movies, radio, and television.  I do not believe it is accurate to blame violence on the decay of “traditional” family values because our country’s history also includes such immoral actions as slavery, the genocide of Native Americans, segregation, child molestation within the clergy, and other travesties that are generally considered by this generation to be unthinkable.  My great-aunt was also a life-long victim of spousal abuse, but until relatively recently, she suffered in silence because her plight was commonly viewed as a private matter between a husband and wife.

7 Common Mistakes in Essay Writing

(and how to fix them…)

Being the fantastic, caring professor that I am, I’ve compiled a list of the 7 most common mistakes I’ve noticed on papers from past courses I’ve taught. Feel free to use these when you’re writing your own college papers, or (if you want to make me really happy) implement them to improve your writing for the rest of your natural life.

1. Vague or unclear thesis. One of the hardest things in composing a successful paper can be figuring out how to summarize your entire argument in just one sentence. Oftentimes, what you think you want to argue at first isn’t actually the direction the paper ends up going. One tactic that can be helpful here is to write your thesis after you’ve written the rest of the paper, and you have a better feel for the paper as a whole. Then, simply weave the thesis into the beginning paragraph. By the way, don’t be afraid to make your theses edgy, but remember to be specific. For example, never just say that “Martin Luther King Jr. was a great leader” when you can say “Martin Luther King Jr. exemplified the spirit of the civil rights movement by uniting both blacks and whites in successful nonviolent protest”.

2. Excessively passive voice, or a tone that lacks confidence. Remember that in your papers, you’re trying to convince your reader of something, even though your reader may strongly disagree with you. Don’t exaggerate or be insincere, but don’t be timid either. Adopt a strong, active, confidence voice. For example: “Some people say that Moore uses some excessive tactics in his documentary that, in my opinion as in the opinion of others, might lessen his credibility.” Notice how vague and uncertain that sounds? Try this: “Clearly, Moore uses tactics that undercut the seriousness of these issues, and flaunts his desire to entertain at the cost of his credibility as a serious filmmaker.”

3. Presents an argument that is too one-sided. If you don’t do your homework, it shows. If you don’t consider the other side of an issue when you write your paper, your writing won’t be nearly as strong. Don’t be afraid to show the whole picture, even if part of it seems to go against your thesis. For example, if you’re writing a paper that criticizes Michael Moore, you’ll actually convince your reader that you’re more reasonable and intelligent if you can show the other side too: “Despite his penchant for exaggeration, Moore still touches on the sickness of apathy in our country, as propagated by the news media. The questions he poses about why we still harbor so much racism and ill will in this country are tough, and hard to answer.” If you feel like you’ve been too complimentary in a paper that’s seeking to be a criticism, you could follow up that paragraph with something like: “Nevertheless, Moore’s illustrations of media sensationalism and racism in this country are overshadowed by his willingness to exaggerate—even lie—to prove his point.”

4. Asks too many questions, instead of making statements. By wary of the question mark in your paper. While many issues cannot be answered simply, it sounds passive and uncertain when you ask lots of questions throughout your paragraphs, as a prelude to addressing an issue. In other words, if you’re going to write a paragraph about whether or not Janet Jackson was wrong for showing her nipple at the Super Bowl halftime show, try to avoid saying: “So should Jackson have considered who might be watching her performance before she did what she did? Yes. Are kids’ minds going to melt because they caught a brief glimpse of a natural part of the human body? No.” Note: The proceeding tactic could be effective if used very sparingly. As a rule of thumb, don’t use question marks more than once—maybe twice—in a longer paper.

5. Paragraphs are too jumbled, and the paper isn’t very well organized. Lack of organization makes your paper sound sloppy, and it will usually result in a low (even failing) grade. To avoid this, try writing outlines or cluster diagrams before you start the paper, so you have a template for what each paragraph should contain. If that’s not your style, at least gloss each paragraph when you’re done, to make sure all your information is in the right place.

6. Sentences are choppy with poor grammar and informal word choice. For this one, remember that (believe it or not) you’re smart, educated individuals with something to say. But if your paper sounds too casual, or your sentences sound sloppy and jump from topic to topic without a smooth transition, your reader will—quite frankly—think you’re stupid. They might also think that if you misuse punctuation, or misspell words. Don’t be afraid to read your paper out loud to make sure it “sounds right”, and really work to iron out the rough spots.

7. Citations are incorrect, quotes are improperly used, and a paper’s sources are uncredible in the first place. The internet makes it easy to do research, but it’s also tricky because anyone can say something on the interent; that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true. Don’t believe everything you read; as a rule, try to confirm every piece of information at least once via a credible news site before you place it in your paper. Also, never just toss in a quote without explaining its relevance. Even if someone else’s words perfectly sum up your feelings on an issue, you still have to indicate why you agree/disagree with that person. Also, be careful with citations. I’ve mentioned this about a dozen times, but when doing citations, the period goes after the parentheses. Within the parenthesis, you list the author’s name (unless you give it in the body of the sentence), and either the page number of a printed source, or the paragraph number of an online source. As with your Works Cited page, spend some time doing it right; teachers less generous than me might be unwilling to look past these mistakes, because they’ll think you were too lazy to correct them.

In conclusion….

“Learn the rules, and then forget them.” -Matsuo Basho (1644-1694).


Finally, here's a sample Researched Narrative from another class.  Compare and contrast this with the rough draft we read earlier.

Researched Narrative

“You’re having triplets.”

These were the words said to my parents when they went in for their first doctor’s appointment almost 21 years ago. At this time, my parents already had a son who was nine years old. When they told the news to my brother, all he wanted was for one of us to be a boy. Instead, he went from being an only child to having three sisters. Being a triplet has shaped how I live my entire life; though I am dependent, I am also confident, a leader, hard working and have learned important life lessons because of my sisters, grandparents and parents.

I am more dependent because I am a triplet. I never had to go to school, summer camp or sporting events on my own. I was given two lifelong friends to depend on when I was born and I believe the bond we have with each other is stronger than most. Even in my other relationships, I depend on the people I am around to always be there and often times want them to “drop everything” for me. I expect them to do this because this is what I would do for them. Although I can do many things for myself, I still rely on people to help me. People say that dependence is a bad thing but I think if you spend your whole life being independent and never relying on anyone else, you are not living a fulfilling life.

As I became older, my dependence translated into confidence. I am able to be more confident in the choices that I make because I know my sisters will back me up and be there for me even if I make the wrong choice. I am also more confident in how I present myself. Growing up, I had to be confident in order to be good at whatever I did. If I lost my confidence, I knew my sister would become better than me or push me until I became better. An example of this happened while playing high school softball. Many girls on the team would come in the dugout and throw their helmet if they struck out; I was not one of these girls. I knew that even if I did strike out, I could not lose confidence and should expect to get a hit in my next at bat. I had to so that I would have more hits in the game than my sister would. The confidence that I gained during this time also helped me become a leader.

I emerged as a leader early in my life and continue to be one today. When I was little and started to do something, my sisters would also begin doing it. My mom remembered one night when we were three and I began climbing onto the end table and rolling onto the couch, over Molly, and onto the floor. A minute later, Melissa began to do the same thing (Harber). Later, in high school, I hit three homeruns in my entire career. Melissa hit a homerun after me in the same game, every single time. Being a leader has many advantages to it especially in today’s society. Often time, companies want employees who will begin tasks on their own instead of waiting around for a task to be given to them. Even in my job at the Recreation Center at Ball State, I find myself doing tasks that were not asked of me. Being a leader is only one important skill that I learned growing up though.

I began to learn things from my grandma and grandpa at a young age. I never lived less than a mile away from my grandparents; my mom and dad lived in a house on the same farm that my grandma and grandpa lived on. Because we lived so close to them, my grandma and grandpa helped my parents raise us; having an active nine year old son and one baby under the age of one is hard enough, let alone three babies. My grandma and grandpa watched us during the day while our brother and parents were at work. Even when my mom and dad were home, our grandparents were always over at our house, or we were over at theirs. Shortly after we were born, my dad added a path through the cornfield so that we could walk to my grandma and grandpa’s house without having to walk on the street. My grandma always tells me the story of when I was three and walked through the corn to their house. She said “Does your mom know that you’re over here?” I replied with a no (Gutmann). As we got older, we began learning things from our grandma and grandpa. Our grandpa was a co-pilot for the Army Air Corps during World War Two. When we were little he would take us to see the B-17’s that were on tour. He showed us around the plane and explained what each person did on the plane and what the different instruments were. Eventually he had not only us as his audience, but many other people who went to see the plane that day. Seeing the B-17’s has become a tradition for us and every time one is in town we go and see it. My grandpa gives us a firsthand experience about history, which we would not have gotten anywhere else. After my grandpa was released from the Army Air Corps, he worked many jobs including: firing on the railroad, owning a hardware store and working as a contractor (Gutmann). He taught us that in order to get anywhere in life, you must be willing to work hard. This is one trait that really hit home. Growing up playing baseball and then softball, our coaches always said that we were some of the hardest working girls that they had ever seen. To this day, I still do my best and work hard because I have been given an opportunity to go to college that not many people get. My grandparents also taught us how to do yard work, housework and to cook. My sister Melissa and I go to their house every Friday to do these things for them because “they are getting old and it is just too hard for them to push the sweeper and pull weeds” (Gutmann). From my grandparents I have learned the firsthand story of history, the value of hard work, housework, yard work and how to cook, among other things.

My parents have also been a major influence in my life through the opportunities and knowledge that they have given me. People always say that they want to give their children a better life than they themselves had and I believe that my parents have done so. Neither of my parents attended college simply because their own parents could not afford it; my mom is one of four while my dad is one of six. Though my mom’s brother went to college because he was the only son in the family and at that time, if only one child could attend college, it was the male. My parents decided before they even had children that we would be given the opportunity to attend college. In today’s society it is the “norm” to go to college, when my grandparents began saving, it was not. My parents have essentially given me everything that I want yet at the same time made me do things that they wish they could have done “when they were my age” (Harber). One example of this is taking piano lessons. I dreaded going to piano lessons and practicing daily for two years and eventually my mom allowed me to quit. Nonetheless sometimes I wish I had paid attention and could play the piano. More recently, I have learned that my parents also taught me how a marriage and family should be raised. Many of my friends’ parents have gone through a divorce and they do not have a good relationship with one parents or the other. Many also do not participate in family dinners and often eat on their own schedule/time; however I do not remember a time when my family did not eat together around the table. I think this time gives families a way to take time out of their busy schedules and spend time together. I am glad that I grew up in a traditional home, with my parents still married to each other, because without them, I do not know where I would be.

Thomas Jefferson once said “the happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family” (Famous Quotes). I believe that this quote applies to my own life very much. We never had scheduled “family game nights” like some families did but instead we spent time with each other each day. Whether it was playing cards, eating dinner or even just watching television together, my family spent time together every day. Many people ask me what it is like being a triplet or what it was like to grow up as a triplet; it is often hard to explain. I do know that I am dependent, confident, a leader, hard working and have learned important life lessons because of my sisters, grandparents and parents though.

Works Cited

Gutmann, Louanna. Personal interview conducted on August 29, 2011

Harber, Janel. Personal interview conducted on August 29, 2011

Jefferson, Thomas. "Family Quotes and Sayings." Sayings and Quotes | Quotesnsayings.com. Web. 07 Sept. 2011. <http://www.quotesnsayings.com/family/>.


 

FOR PEER REVIEWERS:

1) Take a look at the topic sentences (aka the first sentence of every paragraph except the intro and conclusion).  Remember, everything in a given body paragraph should relate back to its topic sentence.  If it doesn’t, make a note.

2) Take a look at the introduction and conclusion; do they gel, or is one more specific than the other?  Going along with that, is the thesis clear/specific enough?

3) Any mistakes in citation?

4) The paper shouldn’t just sound like a story or a collection of stories/recollections.  Is the paper clear on why these events are significant?  In other words, does each paragraph contain a statement explaining the importance of what’s been discussed?

5) Highlight any awkward patches, grammatical hiccups, general WTF moments, etc.

Quotes…

It’s important to always interpret the quotes you use in a paper. For instance, pretend this is your source.

“Students who don’t do this often get lower grades.”  Taken from “Good Student Writing” by Michael Meyerhofer.

You have to smoothly introduce the quote, cite it, and respond.  You also need parenthetical citations with paragraph numbers.

I agree with Professor Meyerhofer when he says, “It’s important to always interpret the quotes you use in a paper” (par. 2).  This is important because, as Meyerhofer also points out, students who fail to do this could get lower grades (par. 3).